Thursday, June 23, 2011

relief society

I was asked to share my thoughts on parenting and personal history at a relief society quarterly activity tonight. It was my first public speaking since our lives got flipped upside down 8 months ago, so of course I was emotional, but I think I was able to keep it in check enough to be understandable...I hope. This is what I shared:

Debbie asked me to talk for a couple of minutes on parenting. I am the parent of 4 kids, Ella (6), Lincoln (4), Logan (3), and Landon (11 months).

As a parent, there are so many things I wish to teach my kids, but sometimes at the end of the day, I'm satisfied if the kids were dressed, we ate 3 meals, and maybe we read a book together. We have a tradition of playing "best and worst" at the dinner table. We go around the table and each person shares the best thing that happened to them that day and the worst thing. You know it has been a good day when none of them can think of a worst thing that day. Or maybe it just shows how bad their memories are.

We have definitely had hard times as a family, but we have had so many good times. I keep a blog and have documented lots of silly things my kids have done, like when Lincoln yelled out "faster, woman, faster" as we were driving down the road...or how when I told Logan I was tired he said I didn't need a nap because my "eyes were turned on." Unfortunately that day I was unable to find the off switch.

So many great moments are documented and I love looking back through my posts. There was one post I never published as it was a little close to my heart that I would like to share. It was a post I did one night as I pondered being a mom and why I was even doing a blog, especially during a time in my life that has been especially painful...figuring out how to be a single mom. Several months ago, I wrote this:

The real reason is that I want my kids to be able to look back at this time and see how we were during this time of our lives. We cried...a lot...and we were sad...a lot...but we also were very happy. We loved each other more, held each other tighter, and prayed more often. We kept on doing all the things we should be doing to help us through this, like prayers, scriptures, being nice, sticking together. I want them to know I loved them. I never stopped loving them. I didn't turn my back on them. It's okay to have problems and trials and hard times, and they will have more, but what is important is what are they going to do about it. Don't run away, don't ignore, don't pretend its not happening. Face it, deal with it, and then live your happy life. That is what I want them to know...and hopefully by the time they read this, I will have convinced myself.

I love my kids and I love being a parent. I thank my Heavenly Father every night for them. Thank you for letting me share.

***I will be updating pictures and fun things soon...promise***

9 comments:

Dustin's said...

Tonya you are amazing!! Thanks for sharing, you are such a strength to others!!

Michelle said...

I've been trying to think of a comment that expresses how I feel about your beautiful thoughts for like 5 minutes...but my words just don't seem to match your inspiring words. I love you! Your kids love you. You are such a strength to them, the perfect mom for them.

Nan said...

I loved reading what you shared on Thursday night. You inspire me.

Tanner's Tales said...

I'm sad I missed it. Glad that you added it to your blog though. Thanks for being so great.

Jennifer said...

Oh, I missed it too. Your words are beautiful and so are you. Your kids are so lucky to have you as their mom.

Kim Greer said...

You inspire me to be a better mom. It was good to see you the other night!

JoLynn said...

Tonya I'm sorry I had to miss the meeting. You are such a wonderful example to many of us and I would have loved to have heard you. I was once a single mom myself and it can be hard but you will be amazed at the wonderful lessons and blessings that will be yours. I wouldn't trade those years for anything! Hope it's okay if I posted on your blog :)

Laurie HF said...

I am so impressed by you. You are taking a really tough time with grace and beauty. Thanks for sharing with us last week. It was inspiring.

Nells-Bells said...

i too am sad to have missed the meeting but thank you for posting your thoughts here. you are amazing and i marvel at your strength. i think you are such an incredible mom and your kids are so blessed to have you!! xo.